“I well remember what I felt while I was waiting for the outcome of my biopsy, I had a sense of an immense anxiety, I felt like I was dying every time the phone rang. A day, at the end of July, the outcome went and together with my husband and my father I got to my appointment with the doctors of thoracic surgery, and I was diagnosed with a Hodgkin’s Limphoma”.
It has been tricky to come at a diagnosis. The cancer, a great dark mass on my lungs, was a great pile of tissue with short of tumour material. I felt unburdened then, because the doctors understood what was going to hurt me so much. Seven years have passed since then. Now, I realize that my brain tends to forget the negative moments, while I well remember the positive and happy ones.
If I stand back to do some calculations, I think that they were “only” four months, but then they seemed to me an eternity. I was 19 years old and had my whole life ahead of me. I had to fight with all my strength.
As the years go by, I understood that my “positive reaction” has been caused by the attempt to not hurt my closest, my family, my friends. So, on December, the 24th, 2004, after a month of radiotherapy, all my path to defeat the disease was ended, in the best possible way.
I hope this testimony could help all those people who, like me, had to deal with this bad experience. It’s true: there have been some hard moments, the tears have been many, but I don’t think that these experiences be only grief. They could bring you to dwell about what life is, about what means to live and to appreciate what everyday shows up in front of you.